A few minutes ago, I was overtaken by a gentleman on a quad bike.

It was a narrow residential road with parked cars on one side. Normally, it has little or no moving traffic on it.

I heard the engine of the vehicle as it approached, but had no intention of moving over because there was virtually no room. Then:-

“Move over why don’t you?”

David Beckham (at least, that was what it said on his shirt) then forced his way through before turning into a driveway. I pointed out to Mr Beckham that he had been in contravention of S. 139 of the Highway Code to which the former England captain replied

“B*ll*cks f*ck*ng Santa have a f*cking shave.”

Is it any wonder we got knocked out in the quarter finals?