Gentleman Cyclist

22/11/2006

My first visit to Lords

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 10:12 AM

Posted on 22 November 2006

The first time I went to Lords was for the 1979 B & H Final, Essex v Surrey. It was a fantastic match, lots of runs, a great century by Gooch, and the first trophy that Essex ever won. I went with my dad along and a pal and his wife.

During the lunch break, we had a stroll around the ground, and as we were behind the pavilion, who should drive up in his swish 3.5 litre Rover (the hatchback version, which was very new then) but Mr. Brearley himself. He was surrounded by small boys demanding autographs.

“Not today, lads, I’m on holiday and I haven’t had my lunch yet” came the reply, and the England Captain disappeared into the Middlesex Club HQ hut. A few minutes later the Great Man emerged again and was again surrounded by small boys. More persistently, he stated “Not today, lads, I’m on holiday and I haven’t had my lunch yet” and started to climb the open staircase at the back of the pavilion.

I didn’t catch what one of the autograph hunters said to him, but he turned around as though stung, leaned over the rail and boomed in his cultured Harrovian tones over the heads of many hundreds of ordinary cricket goers just mooching about,

“You’re rude little buggers! Sod Off!”

Jan and Cricket

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 10:10 AM

Posted on 22 November 2006

Occasionally, Jan came to some cricket matches.

There was one famous occasion, at Southchurch Park, when Essex played Middlesex, whose captain at the time was Mike Brearley (1977?). We were in the Old Westcliffians’ tent, which is where local piss-heads go if they want to mix beer and cricket. Twice, during this 40-over Sunday league match, Keith Pont skied the ball to Graham Barlow, who was fielding right in front of us. Each time the ball went high enough to gather ice crystals and came right out of the sun at poor Graham, who was actually a world-class fielder and played quite a few times for England. Twice, the entire throng in our tent said helpful things like “Graham, you’re going to drop it, Graham…” and twice Graham dropped it and it went for 4, right at our feet.

During all this excitement, Mrs. Wow failed to look up from her wool.

Essex won by 1 run.

Jan stopped coming to cricket matches.

31/10/2006

Snow

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 9:57 AM

Posted on 31 October 2006

In January 1987, Southend was cut off.

The snow started on the Saturday evening. I was in a pub in Great Wakering, drinking beer with a pal. We cycled there and he fell off his bike on the way back.

We had a curry at his place and I then made my way home, about 5 miles in the snow. It snowed all night and by Sunday morning there was about 8 inches lying.

That evening, at around 7 p.m., the temperature in my garden dropped to -14 deg C. My sister, who lives about 8 miles inland in a shallow valley, recorded -18.

About midnight Sunday the real snow started. By 2 a.m. Monday everything disappeared. I walked into work the following day and every step the snow was over my knees. I measured the depth at 19″ as a uniform snowfall. Other people came to work on their skis. The children’s school was closed for a week. Once the snow on the pavement outside our house had been compacted, you could lift it in ice bricks 6″ thick. We made an igloo in the back garden.

By the following Saturday evening a snow plough had worked its way down the dual carriageway to the north of the town and had cut a swathe about 7 feet wide through snowdrifts 6′ deep. The removed snow had been placed on top of the drifts. I cycled back to the same pub with an 8′ wall of snow on either side of me. It was an amazing experience.

We drank beer and had a curry.

Plus ça change!

Spotting the Beastie

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 9:55 AM

Posted on 31 October 2006

The day that we saw the pine marten we also saw “The Beastie”. We (Mrs. Wow, older daughter, younger son and I) were holidaying in Ireland, in Sligo. We hired a couple of boats to try to catch the huge pike which lurk in the Templehouse Lake, so called because it dates back to the Knights Templar, but were caught in a squall and could not row the boats back against the wind. We drifted to the far side of the lake and were obliged to abandon the boats.

Temple House has been in the hands of the Percival family since the 17th century, and we telephoned Mrs. Percival to let her know of our predicament – being on the wrong side of an Irish lough can involve a long and difficult walk! She advised us how we should get back to the road and agreed to meet us in the car. Shortly before she arrived, we saw a pine marten cross the road in front of us. it was less than 20 feet away. I didn’t get a good view but my daughter, an accomplished artist, later painted a picture of it and there was no doubt at all.

We recounted this tale to Mrs P, clearly before we had identified our previous sighting as a pine marten, and she said “Ah! you’ve seen The Beastie.” We asked her more about this beastie and she said that in the 19th century one of her husband’s ancestors had brought some wild cats over from Scotland. These had bred, possibly cross-breeding with domestic moggies, and occasionally they could be seen. She said she hadn’t seen one for a couple of years, but had had a very good view of one down by the lake and had watched it for quite some time.

She invited us into the house to change into our dry clothes, gave us tea, and after admiring the 32lb pike in the glass case, we then went on our way. I was so intrigued by her story of the Beastie that I drove back along the road where she had met us, just in case we should see something else.

We drove slowly along the stretch in question and about 200 yards further on, we had left the woodland behind and were out into open country. I reversed the car into a field entrance to turn round and as we looked back, there, silhoutted against the green of the trees, was a large dark feline shape, I would say about the size of a greyhound. It loped across the road and disappeared into the undergrowth.

I have never seen a Scottish wild cat, but I believe them to be not much bigger than a domestic cat. Whatever it was that we saw was a good deal bigger, although of a slimmer build, than a domestic cat. However, some sources say that Scottish wild cats are generally smaller today than they were 200 years ago as a result of ruthless hunting by Victorian gamekeepers who were paid a bounty to catch and display the largest and most ferocious looking wild cats, so the gene pool became restricted to smaller specimens. Maybe the exports to Ireland were just that much bigger and survived in the wilds around Sligo?

21/10/2006

Tandem Ride, Sutton Park

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 11:44 PM

Posted on 21 October 2006

Mrs. Wow and I were in two minds about setting off for the ride this morning. Hers and mine. She was all rationality: “Where’s the sense in driving over 300 miles so that we can cycle about thirty, when the weather forecast tell us that we’re odds on to be drowned out?” I was all optimism: “Well, we’ve been lucky before… I grant you we’ll probably get a bit wet, but we’ll meet some lovely people, we’ll see a bit of the country we don’t know, and we’ll have a good lunch.”

We left home around 7.15 and rolled into Sutton Park shortly after 10 o’clock. The only event of any note on the way up occurred on the M1 when a motorcyclist pulled alongside our car and waved to me in slow motion. It took a while for the penny to drop: it was Charlotte!

We must have been pretty well the last to arrive. We had scarcely got out of the car when a lycra clad gent with strong Brummy accent greeted me and shook me by the hand. “Didge” said he. The inestimable Mr. Didge, aka Charlie. We meet at last!

There were others whose existence we had only previously witnessed electronically: Si (main ride organiser), Docsquid, Clarion, Pagan, Elleigh (came to wave us off), Mr & Mrs Pike, Windy, Paul, mas051 plus others whose names I will inevitably forget. Apologies to all – worn-out brain syndrome (WOBS). Of those I had met before, there was  Vicky, Charlotte (that awful Charlotte!), The First Two Things, Zipperhead & Son, AlanS and Alchemy (flying visit). There were 10 tandems (one with a complete crew substitute at half-time), two pretty standard (but high quality) touring bikes, Didge’s splendid Viking Fixie, the recumbent that Charlotte had borrowed for the day and a very interesting concoction made out of a mountain bike frame and a park bench which Johnny Thin rode. He arrived at the lunch stop and accompanied us back to Sutton Park.

As parks go, Sutton park is very impressive. It’s big: probably not as much as a square mile, but it can’t be much less. There are lakes, trees and lots of the other stuff that urban parks are renowned for, but on a large scale. The first mile or more of our ride took place within the park, but then we were out on (almost) open roads. Little Aston looked plush – we didn’t see any houses because they were all set back too far from the road. Thereafter we took a fairly meandering route to the lunch stop, mostly on country lanes with a plethora of bovine evidence about them, but with a couple of busy road crossings thrown in. At one point we saw a buzzard and Vicky I think it was pointed out a second, but my eyesight wasn’t up to that one.

Charlotte had to do a bit of luggage adjusting (   ) and we took the opportunity to find out which of our wheels was rubbing. It turned out that we were losing a great deal of power because the front wheel wasn’t seated properly. A quick flick and back with the quick release skewer and out bike went a lot faster, or, more accurately, went at the same pedestrian speed much more easily.

Lunch was excellent. Not many people went for the starter, but I did: mushroom and cheese with a bit of salad. Tim & I opted for the bangers & mash main course, and the toffee pudding for afters, washed down with plenty of tea. There was a good deal of variety and forummers selected a fair cross-section of what was on offer.

Then we were on our way back again, by a considerably shorter route than on the way out. I made the entire journey 33 miles. Once back at the start, there were photographs, some silliness involving a recumbent which involved Windy sitting in a puddle, but most importantly there was a very large black cloud heading northward and, having had the luck and the dry weather, we were keen to get in the car before the heavens opened.

We had scarcely left the park when the rain started. It was heavy and lasted at least half an hour, by which time we were on the A14.

 Charlotte shows her class.
 

Family Clarion & Windy at lunch.
 

More ACFers at lunch.
 

Keeping the faeries at bay. This dance is clothing optional.

A collection of tandems.
 

Didge shows his class.

15/10/2006

Golden Tints

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 11:40 PM

Posted on 15 October 2006

Rickling, Stickling, Clavering and Bonking with Three Fast Ladies

I lost my virginity today. I completed my first ever Audax. I ache. I have some abrasions in places I prefer not to mention. But I bloody did it!

The Golden Tints Audax does not take Climate Change into consideration, as most of the tints we witnessed today were still decidedly verdant.

As I approached the train from Liverpool Street to Elsenham, a lady waved to me. In my confusion I thought it was Little Miss Mac, but it was Peliroja (Vicky). We nattered and I was flattered that she remembered me: we must have met at a previous Critical Mass, but my memory is so bad these days…

Once we arrived at the Shaftesbury CC Hut, the sun having decided to break through the mist, we greeted Tourist Tony and then, when they arrived, Litle Miss Mac (Alex) and the redoubtable Comet (Liz).

Shortly we were off but we hadn’t been going very long when LMM had a faerie visitation.  I was in two minds here: we had an arrangement, whether spoken or not, that we would ride together. However, I knew right from the outset that maintaining 15 kmh for 109 km would be very close to my limits. I waited a little while as Alex & Vicky attacked the problem, but was so concerned that chivalry took second place to naked self-interest. Since these three ladies were invariably waiting for Tony & me (for that is the natural order of things) at the top of every hill, I did them a favour as well as I set off to try to cover some more Kms… They caught us up anyway within about 5 miles (8 km).

I would like to say that the ride was eventful, but I was concentrating so hard on keeping my speed above 15 kph that there were few events which drew my attention away from the matter in hand. I was fairly familiar with most of the morning’s route, and that saved us a little time and, in one case, the Leading Ladies a small diversion, where the left turn to Wimbish Green was not to be confused with a later left turn to Wimbish. We passed Wimbish Village Hall, the scene four years ago of a County Chess semifinal in which Essex lost to Cambridgeshire but I won a particularly memorable K & P ending.

We returned to the Club Hut in good time for the stage, but then spent too long (in my view) over lunch. At 1 pm, with about another 60km still to do, and less than 4 hours in which to do them, I set off, shortly to be overtaken by the ACF Peloton of 4.

We returned to the B1383, quite a ghastly road, and probably no slower than when it was the A11, and headed through Newport then left to Strethall. The scenery now was superb. Who said Essex was flat? We were treated with wide, expansive views, suffered climb after climb, and descent after descent. At one point my speedo read 63.6, without a doubt my fastest ever going solo, but sadly this was measured in Kms, so works out at 39.75 mph. Still my personal best on a solo machine.

We were, more or less, keeping up with the time, but it was touch and go, and I was seriously regretting my decision to wait 10 minutes with the faeries. There were some long, sometimes steep, climbs as we reached the highest point in Essex, near Chishill, and that’s almost in Hertfordshire. Now, pretty much every time we reached a hill-top, I needed to drink, and quite often I delved into the pack of soreen in order to keep the dreaded Bonk at bay, but it was an uphill struggle, in every sense of the expression.

The last 10 miles were an ordeal. I knew the others wanted to get on with it, but, lovely people, they waited for me (always the slowest) at hill-tops and junctions. I was beginning to shake as my blood sugar level dropped, and ate more soreen, but it didn’t seem to help. The fact that my cycle computer reckoned the route to be rather longer than the organisers claimed was also a source of discomfort, but gradually the row of pylons I knew to mark the end of the journey came ever closer; we crossed the M11, and finally returned to the Club Hut.

An Audax has to be completed at a speed no less tha t 15kph, which for 109 km is 7 hours 16 minutes. The finishing time was 4.46 pm. I am still not sure what was written on my brevet card: was it 4.44 or 4.45? I don’t know, but all I do know was that I had a terrific day courtesy of the Shaftesbury Cycing Club and ACF and I’ve done an Audax!

One footnote: Tony mentioned my bike. It’s not the bike that fails to fly, but its portly, decrepit, arthritic owner. I am quite confident that, in the hands of an athlete, it would be perfectly adequate.

Edit: no photos this time. I took the camera, but never had the time to use it.

09/10/2006

Cotswold Walking Weekend

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 11:36 PM

Posted on 9 October 2006

I was quite worried that this weekend away might have had to be cancelled as I did something to my left foot a couple of days before setting off, and even when we were on the train heading for Stroud, I was still limping quite a bit. As it happens I needn’t have worried.

A couple of times a year Mrs. Wow & I go for a walking break with the Povall Boys, some long-standing friends of ours, now retired, who happen to share our fondness for good food (especially curries), good beer and good walks. Jeff & Mike are twins. I suggested the Cotswolds as a destination when I picked up some cheap train tickets (£20 return, Prittlewell to Stroud) and they readily agreed.

One of the great things about ACF is that you get to meet new friends, and on the Friday evening Jaded (actually, this was the third consecutive weekend that I have enjoyed Jaded’s company!) and Monsieur Pumpé joined us for some excellent beer and a good curry. We drank at the Golden Fleece in Nelson Street, a basic pub with a wide choice of well-kept real ales. This was followed by a visit to the Balti Spice. I’m sorry to say that I wasn’t on the best of form, as I was pretty knackered and my foot was still giving me some trouble. However, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.

Saturday’s walk was a 9-miler starting and finishing at a disused airfield here .
 
We headed north towards Withington,
 
where we visited a pub (the Kings Head?) with a loopy dog
 
desperate for attention and gravity drawn beer which was past its best, then east towards Cassey Compton,
 
and then south towards a Roman villa
 
near Chedworth. From the villa we walked east aong the MacMillan Way then followed the edge of the wood and back towards Chedworth village where we visited the Seven Tuns, quite remarkably a Young’s tied house with some very good Ramrod bitter, but too much of a hint of SW1 about it, and then climbed the hill beside the church
 
and back to the car.

At one point we had some difficuly with the navigation as what we thought was the path had been ploughed up and, not 100% sure of our ground, we were reluctant to stomp across ploughed land unnecessarily. We kept to the edge of the field until we reached the road. The road was easy walking, but I was annoyed: bloody farmers are supposed to keep footpaths open and I gained the impression more than once during the weekend that some marvellous hillwalking country was being made less accessible by the Landed Gentry. I wonder how much of this attitude is fostered by the proximity of royalty just down the road at Highgrove?

We had an evening meal at an Eldridge Pope pub in Cirencester, the Black Horse, but it was not great. The food almost made up in quantity for what it lacked in quality, and they only had one beer on. Furthermore, half the bar space seemed to be occupied by unwashed glasses until someone whom I took for the landlady appeared and suddenly things got done. After getting back to our digs, Jeff & I walked to the Golden Fleece again, where Maurice X, the Man from Madagasca (or was it Morocco? Somewhere alliteratively African, anyway) was entertaining the packed house with unnecessarily amplifiied guitar playing. Jeff & I sat outside and drank London Pride.

On the Sunday we did Laurie Lee’s walk, a 7-miler starting and finishing at Bulls Cross. This was another wonderful walk, with much more up-and-down than the previous day’s. However, we found the route rather difficult to follow. The walk is no. 21 in the Pathfinder Guide, Cotswold Walks, and perhaps it didn’t help that we were following the route clockwise when the instructions assumed anticlockwise. We had a good reason for this: it was the only way, we reckoned, to be able to arrive at Laurie Lee’s local, the Woolpack in Slad, at a sensible time for a cooked lunch.

However, many of the paths were overgrown, there were occasions when the waymarks were absent, and quite a few fallen trees made the going difficult. In addition, I don’t recall visiting an area as bad as the Cotswolds for signs telling you what you were not allowed to do. “Private, no footpath!” , “Private road. Footpath only. No bicycles.” Even the local publication, Guide to the Cotswolds, depicts a beautiful lake, the most prominent feature in the photograph being a “No Fishing” sign.

There were some superb views. Here are some.

Once we had overcome our navigational difficulties, during which we disturbed three fallow deer which disappeared into the undergrowth, we found the
 
pub. It does not get a mention in the current Good Beer Guide, but I have seldom been into a finer pub. It served Uley’s beer, of which Old Spot was the favourite. There was also Laurie Lee’s bitter and a basic bitter. For the cider-inclined there was, of course, Rosie’s Cider.

The beer was good, but the food
 
was fantastic. It was a traditional roast, either pork (Gloucester Old Spot, of course) or beef (Aberdeen Angus) and they ran out. Apparenty they had only ordered enough food to supply 80 Sunday lunches, but we got ours!

The locals were extremely friendly. I had hardly set foot in the bar when another customer, a burly bearded bugger, thrust a digital camera in my face and photographed me. It turned out that the pub was running a beard-growing competition    involving quite a few customers. Regulars who were taking part had had their photos taken in September at the start of the competition and again a few times until the competition concludes at Christmas. There was also  a Rogues’ Gallery of occasional visitors who showed some expertise in the noble art of beard growing and Yours Truly should now be firmly established somewhere there.

I put my rucksack and sticks down in the bar while carrying some beer, and one of the regulars said in his lovely Gloucestershire burr, “They’ll be alright there, no one round here goes walking!” I retorted, “What, you mean they all ride bikes?” which he found far more amusing than I expected.

After leaving the pub we climbed the hill opposite, involving about 100 metres of ascent in half a kilometre. Then it was a reasonably straight route back to the car. It was along this stretch that we followed a footpath, scarcely wide enough for walking between the dry stone wall and the barbed ire fence, immediately next to a much wider path which was evidently meant for horses, but the two were separated! It would have been possible to get over the wall and negotiate the barbed wire for some much easier walking, but some land owner wanted it that way so walkers were relegated to a difficult path when a much easier one could have been made available!

On the way back to Stroud we visited Painswick, a very neat village with a load of extravagant topiary in the churchyard. I looked in the estate agent’s window: hardly anything under half a million.

That evening we visited the Duke’s Head where we enjoyed some Timothy Taylor Landlord bitter, not exactly local but a very fine beer nonetheless, and followed this up with an even better curry than Friday’s, at the Radjoot restaurant, immediately next door to the Balti Spice.

My impressions of the weekend? The Cotswold Hills are a fantastic area for both walking and cycling. There are plenty of small roads, some steep hills, but lots more easy riding. Picturesque villages tend to be in steep, narrow valleys with the wider open spaces round about more undulating. The walking is hampered in places with inadequate waymarks and path maintenance and there is a lot of evidence of horsy types dominant: lots of green wellies, Land Rovers and pro-hunting signs.

The people we met were mostly very pleasant: Jaded & Monsieur Pumpé are first rate chaps and the fact that Gloucester is a great rugby-playing area makes it almost an extension of South Wales (I’m going to get some stick for that comment!). I felt that one woman, high on a magnificent horse, rather held her nose when she answered our “Good Morning” and there were one or two other occasions when we felt that the more cut-glass-accented residents would prefer it if a bunch of scruffy ramblers wouldn’t ask them which way the footpath goes.

I was not overly struck with our accommodation, the Downfield Hotel. The beds were comfortable enough, the breakfast plentiful and well-cooked, and the shower worked well. However, the Maitre d’ seemed to think that making jokes at guests’ expense was a good way to conduct business and he seemed to resent our asking for a nightcap at his pretty well-stocked bar. He had quite a choice of single malt, but we couldn’t see Lagavulin so Jeff had a Laphroiag and I settled for a Macallan. Janet asked for an orange joice and he replied sardonically “This is a bar…” and then tried to laugh it off. I think he was trying to imply that she should have been drinking something alcoholic.

Would I go back? Certainly! I’ll be amongst the first when Jaded’s Cotswold tour comes to fruition. I reckon a Sunday Lunch at the Woolpack in Slad would be hard to beat. If it can be beaten then it will be by a very special establishment indeed.

04/10/2006

Estuary Ride

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 11:18 PM

Posted on 4 October 2006

Mrs. Wow was Bromptoning to her yoga class this morning. The weather was beautiful: sunny, crisp and with a light breeze, so I thought I would keep her company and then take the scenic route back.

There is quite a wide choice of rides out, and we selected one involving Leigh Broadway. I think, with hindsight, that this is a mistake at half past nine in the morning as convoys of 4*4s are returning to barracks after active duty on The School Run. I became involved in an altercation with a VW driver, whose idea it was to overtake Mrs. Wow and then immediately stop dead. At the next bottleneck, I overtook the VW and then stopped dead and gave her a piece of my mind. Since I am in the process of losing it, there wasn’t a lot left over.

With Mrs Wow safely(ish) ensconced in her Yoga class, I headed west to Marine Parade, where the views across the Thames are at their finest. Here are a few:-
 

Looking towards Two Tree Island.
 

The Sun was shining on the sea…
 

Municipal Gardens
 

Who left that bike there?

Shortly I reached the borough boundary and gazed into the Badlands beyond…
 

All of the land in the foreground belongs to the Salvation Army and just beyond Hadleigh Castle they run an open farm. There’s a restaurant where adults with learning difficulties (residents at the farm) act as waiters & waitresses.

Beyond the ridge leading up to the castle is Canvey Island, with the white tanks on the horizon evidence of the petroleum industry.

 Here a C2C train from Shoeburyness to Fenchurch Street can be seen.
 

And this zoomed shot shows the Castle in more detail and part of the Sally Army Beef Herd. Benfleet Yacht Harbour can be seen in the middle distance.
 
Moving swiftly on (i.e. pretending that Hadleigh doesn’t exist) we see the start of a recenty refurbished bridleway which is now quite pleasant to cycle. Locally known as “Nutty’s Bane”* it remains to be seen whether it was money well spent.

You can actually pretend you are in a pleasant part of the country when riding along here.
 

There’s the occasional dez. rez.
 

and the odd Nice Little Pad…
 

…and some houses so exclusive that they are invisible.
 

All too soon the Borough of Southend reappears.
 

It’s then a fairly easy run home along Manchester Drive.
 

I turn right here…

and go straight on here.
 

Shortly afterwards, I arrive home.

01/10/2006

Dodging the Showers

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 11:07 PM

Posted on 1 October 2006

Jan and I had a delightful Sunday pootle in the windswept wastes of Essex.

We caught the 9.22 from Southend Vic and alighted at Wickford Station at about 9.40. The first challenge was Brock Hill, Mrs. Wow’s nemesis from a couple of decades ago when, with daughter in the child seat, she would invariably have to get off and push for the last bit. Unencumbered as she was (the daughter was in Maidstone preparing for her wedding) she reached the top with no particular problem. Indeed, we briefly caught up with the tail-end of the CTC Sunday Run.

I carried out some minor adjustments to my seat-post and bars (they have been giving me slippage problems) and then we headed at some speed through South Hanningfield and towards Rettendon. The early morning rain had gone and the valley by Hyde Hall was bathed in sunlight while the fleeces we had brought with us stayed in the saddlebag. However, there were large banks of cloud around, and quite a strong south-westerly, so I felt pretty confident that the waterproofs would have an airing before the ride was out.
 
From Buckhatch Lane we headed north and then east towards Woodham Ferrers, the village proper, not South Woodham, the dreadful scar on the banks of the Crouch. A left turn took us towards Flambirds Farm, a 2-mile off-road stretch which is in fact a farm service road, but cyclists seem to use it as a very pleasant traffic-free short cut. Thereafter we went through Cock Clarks, whose pub, the Fox & Hounds, bears the legend “Essex-brewed Ales”: not any more as Ridleys brewery has been closed by Greene King. Onwards to Woodham Mortimer, Woodham Walter and down to Hoe Mill in Ulting, where once I saw a terrapin in the river.

Shortly after the turn-off to Ulting Church, we took a left turn into Bumford’s Lane, an evocative place which seems to have escaped the notice of Streetmap’s search engine. Here, the wind was so strong that we had to pedal even though going down a quite distinct slope, back towards the river at Paper Mill Lock.

Now anyone that knows anything about cycling in Essex knows two things: firstly, at Paper Mill Lock there is a wonderful little cakie shoppe, where the relaxing cyclist can consume home-made cakes on the banks of the river, where the ducks are a dabbling and the weir rushes noisily and the lock gate doesn’t get opened very often; and secondly, when the cake has been consumed, there is a most un-Essex like Sodding Great Hill, an unrelenting climb of about 90 metres over 2 kilmetres, followed by a further kilometre in which there is a gradual climb to the summit. Sadly, the modern 1:50000 Ordnance map does not give a height but the trusty old 1-inch series shows several: 346′ at the church, which can be seen for many miles all around; and 351′ at Lingwood Common. How is it that such important detail can be shown on a small scale map but which is then lost in the larger-scale “improvement”?

Although without a doubt the highest point in Central Essex and a fine landmark, Danbury Hill does not come close to the highest point in the county as a whole. That is reserved for the hill to be found in the north-western extremity of the County, near Chrishall, at 460′ and Langdon Hills, near Basildon, reaches 118 metres (385 feet).

But I digress. Although a mere pimple by the standards of Clarionesque Superheroes  , Danbury Hill still gives trouble to us mere mortals, especially after a large wodge of fruit and chocolate flapjack. I chose this route deliberately: firstly because of the cake; secondly because I wanted to play with the pixie gears in my Rohloff hub; thirdly I wanted to give Mrs. Wow a bit of a challenge on her solo machine after the previous Sunday’s tandemed efforts on The Mountain Road; and fourthly, I wanted to make sure I could do it before joining in with the Witham Wobble in three weeks’ time! Well, it was great, but a little slow.

From Danbury, we gathered a bit of speed coming down the other side, although the headwind held us back a bit. We traversed Danbury Common, took a right along Moor Hall Lane, past the now-defunct leper colony, and into East Hanningfield. From that point we wanted to get a move on. The clouds were gathering, thunder was rumbling all around us and we still had about seven miles to go before we could sit down at the lunch table at my brother’s house.

West Hanningfield came and went, and we took the Lower Stock Road. With three miles still to go, it became dark indeed, the thunder rumbled, the wind strengthened and a dousing seemed inevitable. We put our waterproofs on, put our heads down, and pedalled downhill at about 8 miles an hour. Fat raindrops began to fall, but not that many of them. Soon I reached a sheltered bit of road where my speed crept up to nearly 20 mph. I looked around for Mrs. Wow and was met with in impressive sight indeed. Not my wife, but a speed merchant on some sort of hand-cranked recumbent hurtling down the slope at at least 30 mph. It was the most recumbent recumbent I have ever seen – the rider was in a pose which would probably give him a really bad crick in the neck, but he wasn’t half fast! I tried a comment, but he was gone.

The last mile or so was uneventful. We didn’t get wet, we had a lovely lunch of sausages casseroled in red wine and spent a delightfully sozzled afternoon singing a belated happy birthday to my brother (58) and my son (22). Outside, the lightning flashed and the rain poured…

24/09/2006

Welsh Mountain Ride

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 11:03 PM

Posted on 24 September 2006

If they didn’t know it already, the splendid ACF folk on this ride now know that any ride in which Wowbagger takes part must become infinitely prolonged. We covered just over 50 miles in something like 9 hours including stops, which implies a leisurely pace: there was not much leisurely about this ride!

Mrs Wow and I began by visiting the riverside and understood, if we didn’t before, why the Wye is regarded as amongst the most beautiful of rivers
 
after which we made our way to Clive Powell’s Bike Shop, which is a bit like Aladdin’s cave with an alcohol licence. The ride began in the most civilised of ways: with introductions, a cup of tea, a chat and photographs
 
 
and almost an hour after the originally scheduled time, we were on our way.

Initially the going was quite easy as we started on the road leading west out of Rhayader and then took the Sustrans route around the Elan Valley reservoirs.
 
These were built in order to provide Birmingham with water directly using gravity feed.

There was a great photo stop
 
in which Jaded followed Emilia’s example of demonstrating a good head for heights.
 


This is no time for a clipless moment!

Once away from the fairly easy gravel paths around the reservoirs, the road began to get a little steeper and as we approached the Mountain Road from Cwmystwyth to Rhayader, we met our first chevron and Jan and I were obliged to dismount, as were one or two other riders. Our tandem was built in the days when a second chain ring was considered a luxury and a bottom gear of a little over 30 35 inches, and more particularly two unfit riders, forced a fair bit of walking in countryside with which we were pretty familiar from previous holidays.

We had a fair few sightings of my favourite British bird, the Red Kite
 
and we also saw some buzzards. At different points I heard at least one nuthatch and several goldcrests, but didn’t see either.

Once on the Mountain Road, a long straight descent allowed Mrs Wow and me to “open the throttle” and we reached our highest speed ever.
 
As we slowed down on the ascent, Emilia caught us and remarked on our speed and how she couldn’t keep up on the descent – a compliment indeed from the one rider who must have spent several hours at the top of hills waiting for us to catch up.

The descent to Pont-rhyd-y-groes was decidedly hairy, but perhaps the least hirsute of all of us was unfazed: Jaded overtook us like a man possessed, clocking almost 42 mph in the process. I’m not sure that he was aware of the “Give Way” sign at the bottom of the hill!

After lunch, which consisted of roast beef sandwiches and some rather good cake, courtesy of Bards, some of us tried to follow the Sustrans route through the Hafod estate, but typical lack of consistent signing brought us back onto the main road a little earlier than the Great God of Sustainable Transport had intended. He moves in mysterious ways his wonders to perform.

There was a good deal of walking now, as the Mountain Road has a good reason to be so named. When we reached Blaen-y-cwm, we took a left turn along a track or road whose status seems to have changed in the past 35 or so years of map making. Current OS maps have part of it yellow, older ones it is entirely white, and the Bartholomew series marks it clearly. However, much of it is simply not rideable due to a combination of gradient and debris.

On reaching the top, some 530m above sea level, we were treated to a magnificent view
 
which I for one prefer to the dismal pine forest which is the other great manifestation of man’s influence on the hills.

There followed an absolutely hair-raising descent in which the drag brake on the tandem worked magnificently. At one point, we rounded a corner to find Folkdevil picking himself up after a potentially catastrophic high-speed tumble: tackling a 1 in 6 hairpin on a fixie when the brakes are not at their best could have left him careering over the crash barrier another 10 yards further on. Fortunately neither he nor his steed was damaged but it was a salutary lesson and we walked for a while until the hill returned to more manageable proportions.

After Llangurig, we knew we needed to press on as the sun was sinking fast and not everyone had lights. The local farmer had very kindly left some lovely thorny rubbish all over the road and at least two people suffered punctures. I was concerned about the tandem as our tyres were probably at least 20 year old and quite narrow, but luck steered us through and eventually I turned on the bottle dynamo which provided a pretty good light through some gloomy wooded stretches.

We had repeated problems with our chain, which removed itself from the cogs, both front and back, at different times during the ride, and occasionally refused to change down to the smaller front ring. On one of these, we lost our balance rather and my trusty stoker rolled gracefully into the ditch, the only real casualties being her pride and her mobile phone, the latter of which needed replacing anyway.

We finally rolled into Rhayader nearly 9 hours after we had left it.

It only remains for me to thank certain key people involved in the ride. Firstly, Mark and Bards, whose route-planning was excellent; secondly, the entire company for waiting for us so patiently and with such warm, encouraging remarks; and finally my lovely wife & stoker, who a mere 6 months ago would not have considered any sort of ride within her capabilities, let alone 50 of perhaps the most gruelling miles to be found anywhere. It was her longest ride by far and shows what a great sport she is. It wouldn’t have been half as much fun on a solo machine!

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